The Digital World What You Can And Can’t Control

 

Being a parent in this digital world can be overwhelming. It’s forever changing and there are so many elements you cannot control. We can all agree that technology is not going anywhere, it’s a good thing to expose your child, but how much exposure is too much exposure? Are they losing their childhood to a screen?

 

The facts:

Once something has been seen, it cannot be unseen, what they experience online can affect their sleep, their development of empathy and self-regulation, their confidence, and their outlook on life as they grow up.
Too much screen time creates a dopamine dump in their brains, that makes it nearly impossible to stop (Similar to drugs). The pre-frontal cortex only fully develops in our mid-twenties making reasonable decision-making difficult in the younger years. It’s our job, as parents to guide them from a young age to have a balanced relationship with technology.

 

Uncontrollable elements we face

We cannot control the following aspects of the digital world:

  • We have no control over algorithms, those are designed to make money for the platforms
  • What influence older siblings or friends can have over our younger children
  • What other children, their age are exposed to or share at school or play
  • What innocent curiosity may find when they search online
  • The effects of peer pressure to fit in with others
  • Cyber bullies, who can be relentless on platforms
  • Being exposed to hate speech, adult content, or misinformation
  • Predators or scammers targeting children for their own personal gain

 

What we can control – and what matters most:

Let’s take a deep breath! There is a lot we as parents can control and should actively focus on.

  • Being a positive role model when it comes to technology
    Put your phone down when it’s family time. Make a point of going offline and connecting in person.
  • Setting the highest privacy restrictions on all devices
  • Clearly define the boundaries and rules with consequences around technology
    You need to stick to these rules as consistently as possible.
  • Enforce screen time limits and encourage physical or imaginative play.
    Every minute offline is a good developmental minute.
    Remember – You pay the bills; you make the rules.
  • Encourage critical thinking around topics.
    Critical thinking is the ability to analyse information, make judgments, and solve problems. It’s a skill that’s important for children to develop because it helps them make sense of the world around them.
  • Speaking to your school, and other parents on their boundaries around technology. It takes a village to bring up our children, we don’t all have the same values, but we all need to respect each other’s decisions around technology. Tell other parents what your rules are and why.
  • Have an open relationship with your child. They need to feel comfortable that should they find themselves in a situation, they can speak to you first before getting deeper into trouble. The fear of having the technology taken away is a far greater risk, in their world.
    Share with them, when you were bullied, felt unsafe, or blocked someone because you did not know who they are. Make these feel normal for your child and they will share more freely with you.

We don’t always get it right, and that’s okay. We are all navigating this digital world for the first time.

Follow your gut and focus on what you can control.